Yack up
I almost never get the hiccups. I’m proud of that and will put it on my resume if I ever prepare one. But when I do get a case of diaphragm spasms, it’s utter misery. It will last for nine hours and I will be a weakened, pissed-off mess by the end of it.
My hiccups generally sound like I’m saying “Yack up” at 30 second intervals. I know people who sound like punctured inner-tubes when they get to hiccupping. I know others that sound like they are releasing unrestrained laughter at absolutely nothing. They go: “Heeeeee!” over and over.
My remedy for this windy affliction is almost always to keep drinking and ignoring it. I’ve also tried holding my breath, drinking from the opposite side of a glass and sticking lit cigarettes into my ears. None of these works but the latter is fairly effective at drawing the attention of women in bars.
I always liked the notion that scaring a person will free them from the clutches of the hiccup wrath because startling people is fun. Drop out of a tree wearing a gorilla suit sometime and you’ll see what I mean. Otherwise, see this less ambitious article on the subject. For best results, try any of the listed cures it in a gorilla suit with cigarettes dangling from your ears.
Yack up, people. Yack up.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
The best cure for the hiccups is to swallow a spoon full of peanut butter. No..don’t moosh it around in your mouth, just swallow it. Works EVERY time.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I thought that was for a hairball.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
It might work on that, too. But, this I know, it kills the worst case of hiccups everytime. Just don’t use the crunchy type.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
GORILLA!!
April 27th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
You literally just eat a spoonful of peanut butter? I’m skeptical.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
EAT IT!! It’s good for you! I’m serious. One tablespoon. Would I lead you down the wrong path?
April 27th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
What? can’t hear you. Cigarettes in the ears.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
From a story in today’s paper about evolution (if you believe in that sort of thing:)
The sound of a hiccup echoes back to our very distant past as fish and amphibians some 375 million years ago, says Shubin. It’s really just a spasm that causes a sharp intake of breath followed by a quick partial closing of our upper airway with that flap of skin known as the glottis. It’s best if you can nip it in the first couple of hics, he says.
It’s much harder to stop once you’ve let yourself get up to 10. By that point you’ve reverted to an ancient breathing pattern orchestrated by the brain stem that once helped amphibians breath, letting water pass the gills without leaking into the lungs. “Tadpoles normally breathe with something like a hiccup,” Shubin says.
May 25th, 2008 at 1:53 am
When someone else is hiccuping, get a small glass of water and tell the hiccuper that you will hold the glass and they must drink the water, all of it, with no stopping or break in between. You hold the glass to their lips while they drink the water. Don’t let them touch the glass. Promise them you will not spill it or make them choke or anything like that. Just simply tell them to drink the water while you are holding the glass. Once the water is gone, so are the hiccups.Works every single time.