Worst drivers on the road
Well, the very scientific Poll of Random People is done and dammit, nobody validated my feelings. What is a poll for if not to reinforce a belief you developed on your own?
I posted the poll on Facebook and asked a few random strangers this simple question: who are the worst drivers on the road? I expected the majority to simply say what I have already decided: young females are far and away, without a doubt, may they burn in cellphone hell, the worst drivers ever to take a seat behind the wheel.
I say this because in my experience, the young broads – that’s right, I used a 1970′s colloquialism – are the single most menacing population roaming the highways. They chatter constantly on cell phones, send text messages, fix their makeup and all other forms of girly business while weaving spasmodically along the avenue. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that chicks between 16 and 28-years-old routinely drive while watching Lost on tiny television screens mounted where the radio used to be.
They will make left turns from right lanes, fly through parking lots at 60 mph and then park in fire lanes in front of Shaw’s – directly in front of the doors, God forbid a 22-year-old have to walk 30 feet to get somewhere – while Old Dirty Bastard thumps from the car stereo (which is now strapped to the roof because there is no room for it with that television in there.) The teeth grinding outrage of this is that these driving habits are due to self-absorption rather than any real lack of driving skill.
I realize this is a sweeping generalization and I don’t care. I only wish more of you had backed me up on this so we could all could march on the DMV or something. But no. These are the less then cohesive results of that exhaustive poll.
February 13th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Infants – That’s the winner.
I got caught driving a 10 wheel dump truck to the store (only 4 miles round trip) to get a Mountain Dew. I was 11. My dad kicked my ass for that escapade.
February 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Bet you still did a better job than the current chickies.
February 13th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Better than Somalians….. or would that be Somalis …. or Salami (nah, that’s a coldcut) – Where the HELL do you run across Somali drivers???? We’ve got 3700 versions of ‘Larry The Cable Guy’ drivin’ down here – neck n’ neck with the white haired left lane lovin’ 55 mph Canadian Snow Birds…but Somali. Could there be such thing as a Redneck Somali? Saucer thing embedded in the lip & no front teeth????
Somali – You’re makin’ this shit up now.
February 13th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Maybe backstory is essential to explain those poll remarks. Lewiston, Maine, where I live, is home to several thousand Somali’s who began coming here during the refugee exodus in the early part of the decade. At the onset, there were hate groups and all sorts of unrest here as a result. Since then, it’s mostly calmed down. Most local folks don’t have any problems with the Somalis. Yet most also agree that the Somali driving habits leave much to be desired.
http://www.sunjournal.com/story/300683-3/LewistonAuburn/Newsweek_article_draws_criticism/
February 13th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I’d have to go with cartoon characters. Homer must have wrecked that car 100 times by now, and Peter Griffin is no better.
February 13th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
OK – We don’t have Somalis – We do have Tamales. Do you have Mexican restaurants up there run by Somalis where you could order Somali Tamales? By the way – Who drives the cabs up there??? Peruvian Llama herdsman?
February 14th, 2009 at 1:48 am
Mark, I’m afraid that you have your facts wrong. The Somali people only started showing up in Maine when the people of Atlanta got tired of handing them everything and cut off the welfare when the city could no longer afford them. From what I’ve heard, the papers in Atlanta ran full page ads, literally begging the Somalis to leave, listing the states where there was no limit on what you could receive-and you didn’t have to work for it or wait to get it. Also heard that Atlanta would cover their moving expenses if they left the once great state of Georgia.
Now the people you described in your article sound awfully familiar. I run into those people every day everywhere I go, no matter whether it’s a big city or a town that has more cows than people. Some days, I think that the wildlife can drive better than the humans do. Texas has the worst drivers in their states, while Oklahoma and Kansas has the worst drivers in any other state. When those drivers get in their own states, then they drive 15 miles below the speed limit and don’t believe in passing a vehicle at all.
February 14th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
included must be pick up truck drivers. For some reason in the summer they are all good manners and maddeningly slow. but in the winter they seem to have to prove something. Speed, big water sprays, weaving in and out of traffic, showing everybody they got 4 wheel drive, etc.