Ride the lightning
I’ve always had a curious approach to the double dog dare. No matter how horrible the feat to be performed, it is crucial to go into it boldly. Go boldly, I say, because there is always the chance that the challenge will fall by the way through some miracle. And though you will never have to complete the chore, others will remember your bravery as you waded in. And that’s what it’s all about, after all.
Unfortunately, a double dog dare almost never fails to come to fruition. Mechanical failures are rare and medical emergencies just can’t be faked with authenticity in the moment of truth. And so if you’ve asserted your boldness and the dare has become a lock, welcome to a world of unpleasantness, embarrassment or pain.
Pain awaited me as I arrived to complete the most recent task to which I’d been dared. I was merely asked to ride the taser lightening, but the double dog dare was implied. And though I knew it would be uncomfortable, I did not expect it to be the most excruciating and emotionally rattling experience in recent memory.
The pain of electricity is beyond comparison because it is within you rather than without. I describe it as a universe of pain because the time spent in its clutches is not like the time spent in relative comfort in this realm where we normally reside. It is bodily agony but also agony of the spirit, because the power of electromagnetism is just so immense, you become puny in its grip. It is terrifying and painful yet neither distracts from the other.
As I was wired for the jolt, I looked slightly less than joyous about the coming electrons. The video captures that quite well and it’s a disappointing departure from the above mentioned rule of going boldly. But whatever. I endeavored not to scream and not to fall on my face and I accomplished that. Would I do it again for anything less than one dollar a volt? Absolutely not. And that’s the beauty of a double dog dare. You never have to accept the same one twice.
July 14th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
This is the first time that I’ve heard Mark speak and the voice was different than what I had expected. Definite Maine twang there-thankfully for Mark, it wasn’t a little higher pitched afterwards. People would have never let him live that one down if that had been the case.
Mark, did you get the idea of being tased from the reporter in Alaska or did he get the idea from you?
July 14th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Bobbie, I think Mark has a radio interview or two linked up on the right under Author Pages. If you want to hear more of that down-home twang.
July 14th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Yeah, in the radio interviews, that twang is terrible. Very embarrassing.
Hadn’t heard about the Alaskan reporter getting his ass zapped. Voluntary or otherwise?
July 14th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Mark,
I understand not backing down from a dare, but I think, personally, I’d have taken the cowardly way out.
Have you heard anything from Bulldog of late? I emailed her right after I contacted you, but haven’t heard anything back.
July 14th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Cowardice would have stung more than the voltage. Not really, but it’s a nice sentiment.
July 14th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Martha, get it touch please about your visit to Maine — two weeks from now!. I don’t have your address or I’d e you.
July 15th, 2007 at 7:47 am
More painful than an electrical current in the bones? Getting up at 7 a.m. on a Sunday. Friggin OUCH!
July 15th, 2007 at 8:36 am
What the hell Flamer! I wish I could have been the one pushing the button! I’ll bet your muscles (or what little you have) were sore for a few days afterwards! moron………
July 15th, 2007 at 8:42 am
Martha,
I just sent you an email regarding your question to Mark as to where the hell I’ve been and why I’ve ignored your email……………..
July 15th, 2007 at 11:39 am
The guy in Alaska was voluntary. His video came on just after yours. It showed the police treating the puncture wounds from the barbs afterwards-left a nice big hole and red spots on the guy’s back. I’ll let you and the crazy in Alaska do the voluntary tasing.
I did listen to the interviews that Mark did on the radio, but he’s going a mile a minute on those things and his voice is distorted. Haven’t quite lost that twang yet myself-when I’m tired, you know where I’m from.
July 15th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
I have to drive real faah in my caah. Those R’s really trip me up.
July 15th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Linda, Bulldog… et al.
I sent my home phone number to Bulldog.. and several have my email… I don’t mind them being given out to regulars. I’d really like to see if we can arrange some kind of a get together while I’m up here. Sunday afternoon the 29th would be the best time for me. Mark, I’ll also email you and Bulldog my cell number… please let me know what everyone else wants to do.
July 16th, 2007 at 1:36 am
Never been tased, but I have had the pleasure of being hit with a stun gun. For training purposes, we had to go through that to get to know what it feels like. I’m sure the cops have to do the same thing. I remember years ago being locked in a trailer and hit with CS Gas. When they came out with pepper spray we had to get that too. And the only dare that we had was “I dare ya to join the military”. Ah, good times
July 16th, 2007 at 2:21 am
Thanks, Linda, for pointing out the CNN interview link.
I enjoyed the interview and your explanation of the stories that come out of your “noggin” … an old-fashioned word that I actually use in my TOONIES book when a father says it to his son … but it was suitable to the character because the father in the book is about your age). Anyway, I didn’t notice any particular Maine twang, but your voice is not as deep as I had imagined it would be. Are you certain they didn’t tape that right after you were “lasered” in the name of journalistic subjectivity?
July 16th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Oops … forgot to mention Mark’s name in above comment, but I’m sure y’all know to whom I was addressing my comment.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Any chance I’ll meet Martha when she arrives?
July 16th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Looks like I came in to the kinda late. Is there a party being planned or something ?
July 16th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Richie and Brenda,
There was going to be one on the 29th. If no one steps forward to host, maybe we could just all meet somewhere.. maybe the picnic area out near the Chickadee (if its even still there). As I said, Sunday afternoon would be best for me. I will be going on to Plymouth NH. that night to see my cousin before I drive back to PA on the 30th. Maybe everyone could just bring something for a potluck picnic. Does anyone else have any other suggestion?
July 16th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Well I definitely have the 29th circled, I’ve been planning on it since we set it up, Martha. I can’t host it because I’m moving that day (from Wilton to Avon) but I think a pot luck picnic sounds great
July 16th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Betty, glad you cleared that up for everyone (#14 and 15). I knew you didnt mean ME because you know what my voice sounds like but the others may have been confused (ha!)
July 16th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Linda,
I’m not sure that picnic area is even still open. If it is, it seems like that would be a “logical” location for most of those who might be interested to attend. You had asked me to contact you, but I don’t have contact info.. Mark and Bulldog have my phone numbers and I know they, Gail, AO and Bobbie all have my email. If you wanted to get my email and send me your number, I’d give you a call, since I have unlimited long distance. Or I could call Gail or AO if I had their info. Since they are in that area, they might know more what is available than I do.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Yes, I think that picnic area is closed or unsavory. Let me work on it a bit. We’ll meet somewhere though. (you too Brenda, why not?)
July 16th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Linda,
I’m trying to think of a way to get you my contact info without coming right out and posting it here, but I’m not having much success.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
test
July 16th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Hey! What do ya know, Bert! I’m able to post again!
Martha, I just sent you an email. If you want to forward your info on to me, I’ll be sure Linda gets it.
April 11th, 2008 at 2:29 am
I don’t think so. You have to revise your looks. In general your blog is good, but sometimes your posts are creepy.