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Old medical terms that ain’t so quaint

Pick your poison

Pick your poison

I was never one to catch all the crazy afflictions that ran amok back in the day. No mumps, no hives, no croup. I’m not even sure I ever had the chicken pox. It’s a pity because I could have spent long afternoons on my deathbed marvelling over the morbid manner in which our forefathers went about naming their sicknesses. Either they were drunk on miracle cure concoctions, I figure, or they just liked to invent appellations that were more horrifying than the ailments they were meant to describe.

Take your pick from the following list and try to avoid breathing on me. Though I tend to have a black bet immune system, I’d rather not sully my record of health by catching something with such a nasty name as ragpicker’s disease from the likes of you.

• Milk leg
• Grocer’s itch
• Bloody flux
• Bloody sweat
• Worm fit
• Chin cough
• Eel thing
• Bone shave
• Putrid fever
• Stuffing
• Trench mouth
• Bladder in throat
• Puking fever
• Scrumpox
• Strangery
• Drunkard’s itch
• Ragpicker’s disease.

Of course, each of these maladies can be verified with a trip to the encyclopedia or online medical database. Provided that you are feeling well enough now that you’ve been subjected to what I like to call the LaFlamme Squirts.

3 Responses to “Old medical terms that ain’t so quaint”

  1. AO Says:

    Yeah. There goes my dinner. And..WTF is Ragpicker’s disease?

  2. Carlsbad Says:

    Awesome!!! I thought rickets was bad. and scurvey!

  3. Sally T. Says:

    ragpicker’s disease – a form of anthrax infection acquired by inhalation of dust containing Bacillus anthracis; initial symptoms (chill and cough and dyspnea and rapid pulse) are followed by extreme cardiovascular collapse