How not to blog
So, I’ve been invited to speak at a forum on the art of blogging. I should just go ahead and plug the thing, but I can’t stop giggling long enough. Honestly, can you think of a worse choice to speak about blogging before a group of professionals? If The Screaming Room is an example of anything, it is the dangers of blogging while drunk. Mine is the Sybil of blogs, with apparently no end of messed up personalities.
Look at the good blogs of the day. They take a linear course and deal expressly with whatever theme the page was designed to embrace. Public relations experts blog about the nature of the business. Wall Street types blog about fluctuations in the market. There are blogs dedicated to the charismatic world of pop culture and others that focus on the music scene.
What they do and I don’t is stick to the friggin subject. They don’t interrupt their train of thought to pontificate about the wonderful array of beard options (earlier this week), urinal art (last week) or the many uses of maggots (one day years ago I don’t quite remember.)
One out of twenty posts, I might dedicate to plugging a book or short story. One out of twenty, I might write about the craft itself. The rest of the time? Pure drivel, like the crap that comes out of a barfly’s mouth when it’s last call and he doesn’t want to go home.
Mine is a generally pointless blog that serves no real function. I’ve accepted that with the same sort of resign that makes me acknowledge that I’ll never look cool in a baseball hat. Several times, I’ve made the effort to stick rigidly to one topic, but I have the attention span of a five year old, spewing thoughts as they occur.
I have no blog wisdom to impart. You might as well invite a lumberjack to speak of the delicate art of wood sculpture.
So when I get up before the forum, it will hard to say anything of use at all. Maybe I should just stay consistent by being inconsistent. I could introduce myself and proceed to talk about sea monkeys, the joy of Pabst or music that makes you want to drink Drano. Or I could simply smile, make goofy faces and say nothing.
That’s what the Screaming Room does, after all. It talks, talks, talks but doesn’t say anything at all.
May 21st, 2008 at 6:15 am
I think the goal of blogging is to show your personality online. People love the convenience of online but not the impersonality. That’s what blogs (even business blogs) give to their readers: a human side of the web. A way to connect with each other over niche interests, like facial hair and maggots.
May 21st, 2008 at 8:34 am
Ah. A good point is raised, and at an ungodly hour like this. I see from your blog (Communications with Personality) that if there’s an expert on the matter, you’re it.
May 21st, 2008 at 9:05 am
I will be there, and am not a professional
Just someone who likes to journal and blogging is another way to do that in a public way if you choose. I think most of the people there will be just us regular folks 
LOL
May 21st, 2008 at 9:23 am
Well LaFlamme, that’s why I read your blog. It’s like a little nugget of pleasure while sitting in my cubicle all day. Plus, I show people the completely obscene or bizarre links you share. Then everyone enjoys your nuggets of pleasure.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:01 am
…….so anyway, I was making a quilt while talking on the phone to my grandchildren the other day, when this American guy in Thialand calls looking for a Derek Dube………..
May 21st, 2008 at 11:59 am
Derek Dube… I wish I had a link to that old blog. What’d we have, 2,000 comments? Poor bastard.
I appreciate that Barbara and Erica. If you keep listening, I’ll keep ranting. It’s what I do, it says so on my door.
May 21st, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Barbara?? Is that our Barbara from the “Bo” Derek Dube days? Ahh..the good old days.
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:36 am
OK, frame this comment because it’s one of the very FEW where I will give you a nice compliment
To state that your blog is pointless and serves no real function is true, yet false. Many long lasting friendships have accrued because of this and the now defunct Street Talk blog. We’ve shared good and bad times in here. And, yes a majority of us are a bunce of drunks that just go on and on and on and sometimes even get yelled at by going off subject but WHO THE HELL CARES! The point is that this blog is like a disfunctional family. Some of us may lose our way but we always come back. I am totally appreciative of the “Lost Sole Saloon”. And yes, dammit, I look forward to even seeing Flame Boy’s little faggot pinky sticking out as he sips his Pabst or Allen’s whilst AO and I suck down Takillya and Fat Bastard and dance on tables. (yes, in my book, this is considered a compliment to him)
As for you talking in public- I am laughing so fluckin’ hard I had to go get one of my mom’s bladder control pads!!! You talking (aka bumbling) in public- HA! You should bring a lone shoe with you and start from there…. and I will be there, in spirit, snickering in the shadows.
May 24th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I believe that your blog is a window into a wonderful yet mysterious mind. It’s interesting to read your blog because it shows a slice of your life. Don’t go changing a thing. And I’m sure that everyone at that blogging seminar would agree.