The Wal-Mart guy on crank

Ah, you know how I love the emoticon. It’s right up there with the e-bbreviation and the shin kick as most annoying shortcuts to communication. It’s particularly troubling when an otherwise manly man indulges in the use of these things. A six foot five, 300 pound cop, for instance, should never write LOL after passing a witty comment. You know who you are. Same goes with smiley faces, and no, the 12-year-old girliness of it is not mitigated by making the little face stick his tongue out.

Today is Valentine’s Day and that means that romantics short on cash will try to impart the depth of their feelings to friends and lovers miles away through the use of clever emoticons. Wet kisses, provocative gestures and no end to slobbering will rule the Web today. Here’s a guide to help you get started. If anyone comes up with a series of symbols and letters to indicate vomit, please let me know.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 14th, 2009 at 2:46 pm and is filed under Etc.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.