Death of the messenger
So newspapers are going the way of the manual typewriter. Someday, we’ll tell the young people about how the news was once delivered in paper form right to our doors. “There were sections for local news, sections for national news and sports,” we will tell them in gore crow tones. “And we had Marmaduke. They just don’t make funnies like Marmaduke anymore, sonny.”
Then we’ll break off into coughing fits and clutch our lower backs. The young people will make finger circles around their foreheads and then blaze away on airborne skateboards. Bastard young people. I hope they get nailed by airborne Harley’s.
The scenario is exaggerated, of course, but only where the time element is concerned. Airborne autos are far off into the future. The death of the newspaper is not. The hip hop generation moving their way into the world of careers and big decision has no use for a product that delivers 12 hour old news in a cumbersome package that turns your fingers black when you read it. And that’s not just more brilliant speculation on my part. It’s the result of exhaustive polling of the powerful population made up of people between 18 and 34 years old. Newspaper? What newspaper? Is that something like the rotary phones you campho-reeking geezers are always ranting about?
They get their news on the web if they want it fast. If they want it fast and specific, they get it customized and sent to them through home computers, laptops, palm pilots, cell phones and other gizmos I haven’t heard of yet. They upload video and audio to their iPods and groove to the news while roller blading into the future. And as they wheel along, advertisers roll right along behind them. Where the 18-34 year olds go, so goes the money. Who wants to pay for a big ad in a wieldy newspaper when the buying generation is spending all their time in higher places?
I’ll miss it, man. Because there’s nothing like a warm newspaper in your hands if you’re around when it comes off the press. There’s nothing like stumbling to the door for it in the morning and looking to see what’s inside. The newspaper is like Christmas every day.
But I’m down with it brother. Because no matter where they get the news, someone still has to write it. Someone has to do the leg work and I’ve still got the legs. The software has not invented yet that will send a crawler down to a crime scene, extract information from witnesses and then use complex algorithms to mold it into a news story. Not yet. But you’ve gotta wonder how long it will be before it’s in development.
And when the newspapers are gone, the real victims will be the chronic whiners who spend their days blaming everybody for the news on their doorsteps. No more editors and publishers to accuse of liberal or conservative slants. No more reporters to accuse of bias or wretchedness. No more paperboy to scream at for flinging the paper into your hedges.
There will be nothing but processors and software packages to yell at and you whiners will look ridiculous doing it. The machinery will lack the emotion to absorb your complaints or to feel anything at all. The news will be the news, that will be that, and there will be no messenger left to shoot.
January 21st, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Let’s do a little recreational thinking
First we get a blog asking what to do with aborted stories.
Then we get the “I may got to Paris to see Jim Morrison’s grave”.
Next is the headline blog, followed by the “I want to be on TV, even if I say I don’t” blog.
Followed by the “They treated me bad, but I showed them” blog.
And now we have the “Print is dead” blog.
Conclusion – Either Flamer has a premonition that he may be on the way out the door, or he’s looking for an excuse to find the exit himself. I say do it, man! The SJ jumped the shark years ago. You have a somewhat succesful, I mean a great writing career going, a blog that tens of people read every day, and , and, ….I’m sure there are other things. Take the chance, write the books and take a break to keep up the blog. Screw the SJ, man. They’re the MAN trying to keep you down, they’re the jackboot on the neck of the proletariat! Cast them off and fight for your freedom! Rage. Rage against the dying of the light!
Er, Um…excuse me. Sorry about that. It could be that it all means nothing I guess, And I really need to say no that second helping of ‘shroom tea. Nasty stuff.
January 21st, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Damn, man. You’ve been drinking since the pre-pre-pre game show, haven’t you?
Ah, there’s no writing on the wall. This is just me trying to stay focused on the writing stuff. I had that lapse with the Morrison thing, but blast it, focus has never been one of my strengths.
January 21st, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Of course everything is changing in the book writing field too, I suppose. This weekend my husband asked me if we should buy another bookcase to accommodate some of the stacks sitting around on the floor. I said no, I think I’ll buy an ipod instead and give away my books.
“The profession of book-writing makes horse-racing seem like a solid, stable business.” John Steinbeck.
January 21st, 2007 at 9:05 pm
I guess the message is: there’s no such thing as a sure thing. Stay focused but flexible. Remember the lessons of the past and anticipate the future, but live in the present. Grasshopper.
January 21st, 2007 at 9:20 pm
I think the wisest advice I ever got on teh business of writing was this: “It is almost never the letter e.”
As true now as it was then.
January 21st, 2007 at 11:09 pm
“They get their news on the web if they want it fast.”
Ironically, I turned on the computer this morning to check if the temperature was a positive or negative integer before deciding what to do with my day- thinking the computer would be the fast way to check the weather report-
four hours later, I turned off the computer & realised I had not looked at a weather report! There’s a lot of potential for distraction when you read the news online!
January 21st, 2007 at 11:11 pm
I forgot to say: if I had the newspaper, I could have turned over the first section & seen the weather section at a glance. Maybe not up-to-the minute, but pretty good prediction.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:40 am
People have been predicting the demise of print media for quite some time. This may be so; when we look at the one of the two papers we have available (generally) here in Lewiston. The SJ has long been getting away from substance and opting for style. Yes, they win all sorts of awards; but these seem to be rather the type of awards your kids gets in 3rd or 4th grade; nice for the kid but of no real concequence. I for one am not interested in how witty or “kool” or hip the B section is. It is handy to through all the inserts into that though; so they can all be pitched out neatly. Even the comices suck out loud. How many years ago did Charles Shultz die; and we’re still getting Peanuts re-runs ? What a load of crap !!
With the departure of Dave Farmer the editorial page will lose it’s Liberal / Progressive passion and become just another propaganda mouthpiece for the Socialist Democrat party. Even the dating ads in the back are old and tired.
And what happens when the paper prints erroneous material or outright lies ? Who’s to call them on it ? Do they even care ? Of course not. It’s not like it’s going to affect sales.
Speaking of sales, the quality of even home delivery has dropped. We went off on a vacation holiday; told the SJ office to hold our papers until we get back; and deliver them then. Assholes. We come back; but do you think we get the papers ?
Of course not. Stupid shits. We call on a Friday and they tell us Oh yah, we’ll deliver tomorrow. Saturday comes, no paper. Monday is a holiday; so I call Tuesday.
I speak to some secretarial wench who refuses to switch me to speak to anyone else about this. In the end, we never got our papers; but you can bet we’ll be checking our bill to see if our account was credited. Stupid fuckhead newspaper. And they wonder why circulation is dropping.
Oh well, Drudge Report just updated & there’s some new articles over at Townhall.com. Gotta read what Michelle Malkin has to say; and maybe Blackfive will have some thing about the weekends combat actions in Iraq. Gotta go . . . bbl.
PS: Linda: Get the bookcases. Yah your ipod can hold a ton of material, but there just isn’t anything quite like the feel of a book; a cup of hot chocolate, & a nice fireplace that the ipod will be replacing anytime soon. I coolect books on a number of topics; and although I wish I could have all this info in my computer at my fingertips; I still enjoy the feel of the books and the pleasure of re-reading them. Get the bookcases !
January 22nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Hey, Gil, I liked this expression: “a blog that tens of people read every day …” And did the SJ jump ON the shark? Or OFF? (And what shark?) Hmmmmmm …
Hey, “MY” Linda: You (and Steinbeck) are so-oooooo right; good quote: “The profession of book-writing makes horse-racing seem like a solid, stable business.” John Steinbeck. And I agree with Richie: Get the bookcase. Where else are you going to put the volumes and volumes of witty, wonderful, wise writing (how’s that for alliteration) that Mark and I create? (Do I really WANT to know?)
Hey, Richie: You’re a wise man too. ” … there just isn’t anything quite like the feel of a book; a cup of hot chocolate, & a nice fireplace that the ipod will be replacing anytime soon.” My sentiments exactly … but I’ll take a cup of tea, please. And FORGET the ipods; they’re better for music, anyway.
Hey, my Main Maine Man, I don’t get your wisest advice: “It is almost never the letter e.” … Is it too early in the AM our here in California? Or am I just my usual “dense” self? Hmmmmmmm … Well, I like this quote by some famous writer (not as good with the names as you guys are): “I spent the entire morning deleting a comma … and the rest of the day putting it back in.” I really “get” that one.
And, Brenda, I know what you mean about the computer distracting us and the “four hours later” bit. I came on line to E my pub and here I am … an hour later … chatting with you distracting, charming, erudite Maineliners. (Well, if you can send me to the dictionary by using a word like “integer,” then I can use “erudite.” Right? Right!)
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: WHERE IS TREEHUGGER TODAY? (I see I missed him the other day … and he was asking about my attire, too. WOO-HOO … Boy, did I miss an opportunity there!!!!)
OK, now baaaaaaaaack to that long-overdue E to my pub. Gotta keep those checks coming in.
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Delivery problems are the kind of things that keep circulation managers up at night. We need to maintain, if not increase, subscription sales. So when someone like Richie is inspired to use terms like “stupid fuckhead newspaper,” we know there’s a problem. And nobody on the news end will deny those problems. My paper ends up soaked at the end of the driveway like everyone else’s on occasion.
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:42 pm
The point I was trying to make is that most people get a secret joy out of hating their local newspaper. Cops think we pick on them. Criminals think we’re pro cop. Auburn sports says we favor Lewiston, Lewiston says we favor Auburn. Crime coverage is too invasive or not thorough enough. When it comes down to complex algorithms selecting the news for you, people like Walter will have no one to scream at. Those people will have to consider the ugly possibility that maybe it’s the news they hate, not he who delivers it.
January 22nd, 2007 at 3:45 pm
I wouldn’t mind if they at least got it to the driveway !! At least then I would get the damn paper; but it just frosts me that they can’t deliver the damn thing. I delivered papers as a kid; my KIDS delivered that fuckhead newspaper; but now; who knows who’s delivering it. I betcha some of the Flamers’ Alien Good-Buddies could do a better job !
Yes, it’s liberal.
It is anticriminal; it reports their scurrilous deeds without giving them props for their coolness & manliness. Oh well.
Cops hate the paper because of the alarming tendency that, when in the abscence of facts, it’ll just make things up. You know, like, WTF ? I was at that scene, but I read it in the paper and God only knows what happened. Oh well.
Lewiston is bigger than Auburn; so Auburn should be quiet. Besides, Lewiston can probably beat up Auburn anyways.
Boys sports are more important than girls sports too (no matter what Title 9 says). (ahhh ! Let me bask in the warm flame of love sure to erupt now !) After all, when girls can play in the NFL or the NBA, THEN girls sports will be important.
There you go Mark; you wanted me to heat this up for you; that should oughta do it.
BTW, I have no criticism of YOU per se; at least you ask questions and try to understand WTF was going on ! There are some reporters though who do their best interviews from their office space.
Byeee !
January 22nd, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Hey Ritchie, You can call me in Customer Service and I will check your acct to make sure your acct was extended for that period of time. I can also pass on any problems to the district manager for you, or connect you to him so you can speak to him yourself.
My direct line is 689-2972 if you would like to call. Sorry for the inconvenience.
After all that, I still says there’s nothing like opening the door and picking up the paper first thing in the morning. I much prefer to touch and hold what I am reading. Same with books. Stephen King started the Plant story online awhile ago. He is one of my fav. authors. I tried to read it online, but I wasn’t able to hold a book and curl up into my usual position on the couch. It’s just not the same.
January 22nd, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Crystal – nice person ! A model of fast efficient customer service. THANK YOU !!
(Really ! I’m not being a wiseguy now; Crystal was wonderfully supportive and
did check to make sure the account was all square. )
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
We do good things.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Richie, do you remember the time a couple years ago that shots were fired in a Knox Street apartment and the LPD guys went over to check it out? A channel 8 reporter who was at home sleeping at the time later went on to describe how police used racial slurs while getting the suspects under control. I was at the scene around the same time the first officers arrived and heard absolutely no racial comments from either side. I did a column on that and still get thank you cards from the police side. The channel 8 reporter, on the other hand, left the station soon after.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:42 pm
I will agree that holding a book, with the house quiet and no one else to bother you is a fantastic way to spend time. I can pick up a book, promise myself that I will only read a page or two and like Brenda with the computer, look up hours later and go “Oh, crap.” I have always enjoyed reading and could spend hours in the bookstore looking for the next book that I want to read. I recently sent my daughter one of my favorite books, “One Door Away From Heaven” by Dean Koontz. Even tho I know how it ends and what will happen, I always enjoy reading it.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:43 pm
I’m not really giving my books away. I agree with Crystal and with Richie (on that one thing at least) that a book is more satisfying than an online read. I listen to books on CD when I drive, and i enjoy it, but it’s amazingly different than reading.
Now see Mark, that channel 8 reporter story is just what you hate to hear about: somebody phoning it in and going for the rabble rousing slant — or lie! Once it’s written down and produced in paper and ink, there’s more accountability attached. Didn’t you write about that recently?
January 22nd, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Sounds familiar. It’s true that on-air reporting is a little more forgiving than the print copy. Get it wrong in print, there are 40,000 records of it across the state.
January 22nd, 2007 at 6:48 pm
I still enjoy the print version of news. It’s less harsh on the eyes, and just more of a warm, fuzzy feeling with me. No damn clicking. I can spill coffee on it if I want. And when I’m done, can use it to light a fire in my woodstove, or line the parakeet cage. Try that with an online version.
As far as the “B” section goes, I’m still trying to figure it out. I guess I’m not in the demographic its attempting to attract. However, when I see many club listings in Portland, I get confused. I’ll check out the Press Herald for that stuff.
January 22nd, 2007 at 6:51 pm
The b section appeals to a lot of people. However, it appears the circulation numbers haven’t so much as twitched since it came into play. People will read it and even dig it if they stumble on it. But will they go out and buy the paper just for that? Doesn’t appear so.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Or — a bunch of people started buying but another bunch stopped.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:20 pm
I like to hold the paper too, Dave. I hope they can survive, at least as long as I can shuffle out to the mailbox to collect it every morning. (Not that I have to do that because it’s one of my husband’s missions in life to see that I get coffee and the paper every morning, before there’s any requirement for conversation)
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:21 pm
I like the B section, but I wouldn’t run out to buy a paper for it. I do like the feel of the paper in my hands, but I also don’t mind reading it online either. I don’t know. I like the breaking news stuff the best, and the printed paper just can’t do that. I check the SJ website multiple times during the day for breaking news-local that it, and have breaking news on the national level sent to me via Fox news. WMTW also sends breaking news via e-mail, so really, I am never out of the loop.
Books, on the other hand, have to be books, held in my hand to be read in some quiet little nook in my house. I don’t think books can ever be replaced. They are almost sacred in my house. I have had some of my books since high school. Books are wonderful and online versions, cd’s, ipods can never replace a good book.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Yeah, the eBook craze really never took hold. Sure they might be handy on a plane or in a meeting. But a palm pilot is about the same size as a standard paperback, so what’s the point?
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:39 pm
You’ll be seeing lots more breaking news through the SJ website soon, too. And customizable alerts. Sound files, vids, all of that jazz.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:56 pm
I used to deliver the paper when I grew up. But this was in Florida, and no bicycle route. We had a van and it was half-filled with papers. Our route covered three huge suburbs and we started at 2 am and finished around 6. And that Sunday Paper was the size of the Lewiston and Portland phone books combined. That was my intro to power lifting. That was a paper I grew to hate.
Now I drive around Mass, NH, and Maine for work and listen to audio books sometimes to overcome the monotony of the road. I don’t think they can ever take the place of a real book though. Richie is right on with that one.
That being said, I never was a big fan of the SJ, only the blogs kept me checking it out online, and now I don’t even go there.
January 22nd, 2007 at 9:00 pm
So Gil, is that you in the photo above? No, it’s probably too “vintage”, maybe it’s Richie
January 22nd, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Now this is some funny stuff. And SFW.
http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com/index.html
January 22nd, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Naw, Linda, alittle old for me. Besides. I’m pretty sure I was never that small, or cute.
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:35 pm
there’s no truth to the rumor that gil likes me.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:55 am
Re: #28 Linda
Nope; that was more my Dad’s time; he delivered papers too when he was a kid.
Although the movie “Christmas Story” is set about 1938 (the zeppelin toy gives that away) it was a lot like that in the early 50′s when I was a kid. When I was passing papers it was all home delivery or store sales; there was no one hawking them on street corners or anything. Now, that was in Niagara Falls, New York. Your experiences, like mileage, may vary.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:19 pm
I’m watching yesterday’s The Daily Show and Jon Stewart’s doing a piece about the NY Times (he calls them “Ms Black-and-White-Saggy-Boobies” or something like that). Making fun of their foray into the web. “The Last Word” — video obits recorded by the “dyee”. (Mandy, did you ever see that at your paper?) Video classifieds. He mentions some section that’s “pound 13″ of the Sunday print edition. Says the online version is great but it’s harder to read on the subway, showed a guy holding one of those giant monitors from 10 years ago. Funny stuff, and sounded so familiar.
January 23rd, 2007 at 9:59 pm
For those of you who like books… every spring the American Association of University Women chapter at Penn State holds a HUGE used book sale. The final day of the sale is “bag day”… as many books as you can stuff in a bag for $5.00. If anyone is interested, I’ll try to keep you posted when I know the dates, and I’d love to play host.