Afraid of clowns? Sure, you’re not. That’s why you press your face like a five year old into your wife’s bosom every time she makes you go to the circus. Don’t be afraid, young Sally. Some version of the clown resides in almost every culture. They cavort about as hobos or as merry men with painted on smiles. They hide behind paint and pull rags from secret pockets. They carry flowers that will squirt you in the eye and their feet are huge.

What’s so frightening about that?

The fear of clowns is called Coulrophobia. Experts in human behavior believe it may stem from early childhood experiences, when an infant is still learning the dynamics of the human face. The exaggerations about a clown’s face might frighten the child so badly, it may cause a lifelong aversion to these gay harlequins.

Certainly it has nothing to do with John Wayne Gacy and his ilk.

But whatever. Either you’re afraid of clowns or you’re like me and they simply irritate the hell out of you. If you have something to say, funny man, say it. Don’t go all mime with me and get in my face. I’ll smear your paint all over this room, prick. Don’t push me on this, white-faced bastard. I will kick your comical ass from one end of the…

Maybe I have a problem with clowns. I don’t know. Here is a photo with which you can test your own mettle when it comes to these evil creatures. I’ve got to go to my happy place for a little bit. With vicodin and beer.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! (click for a larger view) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

This entry was posted on Friday, December 19th, 2008 at 2:23 am and is filed under Etc.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.